dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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