i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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