What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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