I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
