Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Randomize
