do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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