I like to think it a success when the cops are called
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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