i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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