This girl is more easily done than said...
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
