it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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