I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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