so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
