I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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