but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Randomize
