We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
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You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
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That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
i think im in europe. pls send help
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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