I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
