I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
