Screwed.edu
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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