when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
