3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Randomize
