god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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