i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
