i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
