wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
