I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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