These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
