ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize