its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
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