you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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