The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
