i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
