man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
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