Dual....:-)
True but thats because hes a fetus.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
