i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
