you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
