Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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