Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
