Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
