hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i barfeds in our rink
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
So vagazzling was a success
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
