How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
