capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize