well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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