i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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