I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
No stitches, just platelets and will power
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
