i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
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It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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