if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize