VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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