please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
