Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
