Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
