forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
