If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
third nipple confirmed
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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