okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
