awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
