I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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