Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
