i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize