I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
