I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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