so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
