No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
