God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
